movie cliches

i thought this was pretty dumb at first when i found the site, i think the whole idea of a cliche is dumb, but when i was reading through these i thought they were either just really funny, or they were actually true. think about some old favorites or just next time you watch a movie you will realize how cliche stupid script writers actually are most of the time...

KIDS/TEENAGERS

• A kid always knows more than an adult.
• A kid can fend for himself even if his parents have gone to Paris, leaving him with no food, electricity, heat, money, etc.
• No child can ever be killed...even if they're electrocuted on a high-voltage electric fence that could kill a dinosaur (Jurassic Park)
• Eight to ten-year-old kids are the best computer hackers on earth and can break into any system.
• Girls who can't find a date to the prom in high school films are usually the girls that, in most high schools, would have almost every teenage boy asking them.

PHONES

• All phone numbers begin with 555.
• People speaking on the phone never introduce themselves, and never ever say "good-bye" at the end of a conversation.
• A ringing phone is usually picked up within 3 seconds.
• Don't give the person on the other end of the phone time to say what they have to.
• You also never have to look up a phone number, for anyone.
• When a phone line is broken or someone hangs up unexpectedly, communication channels can be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?".
• Always knock over the phone if it wakes you up. If you are expecting a call, make sure that you pull the covers up completely over your head so that knocking it over becomes easier. All houses have phones next to the bed.
• There's a dial tone to be heard on A's phone immediately after B has hung up on his/her end.
• The Movie Telephone Time Vortex.
  How often have you seen something like this:
  Phone rings. Hero/Heroine picks it up. "Hello. Yes. O.k. Right. Thanks, Goodbye." (Total elapsed time on phone: 5 seconds.)
  Hero/Heroine turns to other character: "That was John. He says that the Marilyn left for the lawyer's office about an hour ago, and she should have been there by now. He's called the lawyer's office but Marilyn apparently never got there. He also called Bill's, thinking she'd stop by there, but Bill hasn't seen her. John says he's going to call Anne, as Marilyn said she and Ann were going to go shopping sometime today. If she's not at Anne's, he's going to call the police. He suggests that we drive over to Mario's and check with him as to whether or not Marilyn told Wally about the statue. However, he thinks this is unlikely as Marilyn doesn't trust Wally, she only trusts us and Fransisco. John also suggests we try to get in touch with Fransisco . . . ."
• On the subject of phones, how about variations of the Bob Newhart-style conversation where we only get to hear one side of the conversation, as in: Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet? (PAUSE) And you already called Bill's? (PAUSE) What did he say? (PAUSE) He hasn't seen her either. (PAUSE) So, John's getting nervous? (PAUSE) He's going to call the police...
  If I'm not mistaken, the conversation must have gone like this:
  "Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet."
  "Marilyn hasn't shown up at the lawyer's office yet?"
  "No, and I've already called Bill's."
  "And you already called Bill's?"
  "Yes."
  "What did he say?"
  "He hasn't seen her either."
  "He hasn't seen her either."
  "John's getting pretty nervous about this."
  "So, John's getting nervous?"
  "Yes, he's going to call the police."
  "He's going to call the police..."
  
• When phone-calls are traced you can see a map on the screen with a beam closing in on the caller, and the caller always knows how long he can talk before he has to hang up to not be traced down. He always manages to say everything perfectly timed for 2 minutes.
• Video-phones display pictures of the callers looking straight into the camera. The camera must be in the middle of their screen, in other words.
• If the hero tries to call someone he needs urgently he won't need more than three rings to know that he/she is not there.
• If someone wants to call the hero, he/she will let the phone ring forever before hanging up, expecially if the caller does not know that the hero has to fight his way to the phone through a bunch of bad guys.
• A person is placing a phone call to a company, such as "Sports Illustrated." The phone at the other end is picked up, and the person PLACING the call says, "Hello, Sports Illustrated?", as if they are checking to make sure they called the right place.
  What this means is that at a major company, someone is answering the phone with "hello" and that's it! Not, "hello, Sports Illustrated, can I help you?" or anything like that, just "Hello!"

HOUSES

• People never answer the door until the doorbell or knocking has sounded at least three times.
• The hero lives in New York City working at some okay, but not particularly high-paying job, and yet he or she has a roomy apartment filled with nice stuff, generally with a good view, and sometimes a nice, romantic rooftop to go to.
• People never get out of the house when there is obvious danger there (ghosts, murderers).
• People who hear something weird outside will go OUT to look, even if they know there's a homicidal maniac on the loose.
• When someone's in bed and hears a sound outside, he'll get up and turn the lights on before looking out of a window, even if this usually guarantees that he'll never be able to see anything going on.
• When an intruder is in the house, the occupant will snuck along a wall with his back pressed to it tightly and his arms out a bit from his body, palms flat agaisnt the wall.
• When there's an intruder somewhere in the house, the thing that jumps at the heroine in the dark turns out to be her cat, even if it comes from places cats wouldn't be, like inside a cupboard! As soon as she relaxes, the killer will show up and strangle her.
• Any apartment in Paris will have a view of the Eiffel Tower

MINORITES

• Minorities such as Native Americans or Asians will always have some sort of mystical knowledge or inate fighting skill. For example, the Native American always knows the course of events to come from some sign in nature, and Asians are all born with Martial Arts skills they can use to battle the bad guys.

RESTROOMS

• In film, no one uses the restroom, except as a venue for escape. If there are multiple people in the restroom, expect a minor character revealation while they stand at the mirror